I've always been a little self conscious of the camera, always preferring to be behind it. These days, though, I avoid having my photo taken like the plague. I'm not sure if it comes with age, post-pregnancy and/or simply being a harried mother, but these days I'm constantly worrying about the pudgy bits (the leftover weight from pregnancy, and eating like a horse while breastfeeding) and the greasy hair speckled with greys (because I haven't had a chance to get to the hairdresser, nor have a shower that day!)
Ashley over at Piper & Poppies alerted me to this poignant article, 'The Mom Stays in the Picture' by Allison Tate. To all the Mamas out there, please read it.
"Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother."
I cried when I read the article. Allison's words (and Ashley's words) touched me to my core.
I've finally realised - I'm never going to be super slim, or have the perfect hair, or have a different nose, but Everly will love looking at pictures of her young and beautiful Mama (even though I may have felt far from young and beautiful at the time).
The photos above are some of the only photos I have of Everly and I together when she was a baby. (Update: I also found some more that I posted here and here.) I was suffering from postnatal depression and post traumatic stress disorder, so putting on a smiling face was difficult at the best of times. But I look at these photos now and all I see is love. Pure love for this little being who came into my life, turned it upside down, and who I love like no other. And in twenty year's time, when Everly is flicking through an old photo album, I hope that's what she'll see, too.
The past couple of months I've been thinking about organising a family shoot near Everly's second birthday in June. Just us three. Before we become four. I am not pregnant, nor planning to be - I just think it would be lovely to capture our little family of three as we are now, before it expands in a few year's time. Nothing posed, just someone following us around doing our daily thing. Maybe, even, (crossing fingers) with this guy. Reading Allison's words tonight, I've decided it's going to happen.
So, I've added a new challenge to 2013 and the many years ahead - get in the picture!
Photos:
* Everly (3.5 months) and I (photo by Victoria Berekmeri Photography)
* Mark and I, Day 5 as new parents
jess, this is so true and I worry about it too - which is exactly why we had tim come and capture our family 12mths ago. it was a lot of money to spend but so worth it. since then I have become friends with a good handful of wonderful photographers, I wouldn't hesitate to have biannual sessions to make sure there are photos of me with the kids. it is absolutely money well spent. that stuff is priceless. when I did a family session late last year, majority of the family was very hesitant that I was there - the eldest of the siblings had organised it - but after they saw the photos, they were so grateful they had those memories and have said they want me to document their family annually. and yes, BEAUTIFUL YOU should absolutely be in FRONT of the camera!! xx (ps - I haven't read the article, will do tonight - if there is to be crying involved!)
ReplyDeleteWise words Jess. These are lovely family photos. I need to get in the pictures more too...good luck with your family photo session, I know it will be special :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this post (and Ashley's) - and recall reading a heartbreaking story about a mama blogger who sadly passed away (details of which i can't remember), and this story spoke of the importance of taking pictures of yourself with your children. I'm blown away by the happiness and sweet, sweet adoration which oozes out of your photos with Everly and your husband. I too, wish I had more of the two/three of us...and this is what I love about the blogging world - again, I am inspired. Wise words lovely lady. I'll try my best to get in front of the camera too, baggy eyes, dirty hair and all x
ReplyDeleteOh Jess- this so needs to be shared a million times. I sobbed when I read the article and indeed your words too! Our girls deserve to see us for every bit that we are. They adore us and us them. Love to you and enjoy being in the picture. Xxx
ReplyDeleteShe will so see the love! Kellie xx
ReplyDeletePS You are gorgeous.
Jess I love this post. What gorgeous pictures! and such a wonderful reminder. Yes some family pics just the three of you is a must. Fingers crossed for Tim - we were lucky enough to have him capture us just three days before Millie joined us. xx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. I find myself sneaking out of pictures or being overly picky about the ones I move from my memory card to my computer all because I still haven't fully adjusted to my appearance post baby. I've recently come to the same conclusion that you have, I think. For a long time I've beaten myself up for not having my old body or for having the tired eyes and the dry skin or for my hair having not been cut in a year. But I think I was just trying to get back to a person I've grown out of...literally and figuratively. I have finally begun working on accepting the beauty of who I am now, instead of striving for the beauty of who I was, if that makes sense. Seems much healthier. Stay in the pictures, mama. You look beautiful. xo
ReplyDeletei have very few photos of me and jess together but after reading that article i'm with you. i am going to get in the picture (...at least sometimes she says ever so nervously!)
ReplyDeleteby the way you look gorgeous in those photos above x
I came across Ashley's lovely post earlier in the week, and I too was touched by her words, so much so that I edited a post I'd uploaded only minutes earlier, deciding to include the photo of myself and Sophie which I'd been deliberating only minutes earlier. The photos above of you and your loved ones are gorgeous x
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